My father, who worked at J.C. Penney's for 35 years, is a wholesome guy. Readers of my book may remember that he was a former Boy Scout, crossing guard, and designated driver. So I ask you, what was he thinking when he brought this lawless J.C. Penney catalog into our home?
Check out the Hugh Hefner-style furry black toilet seat. Grab your newspaper and kick back in sanitary comfort (click on photos for full-sized glory!)
The blue-clad International Male in the upper-right-hand corner: tell me, what is that outfit for, exactly? Bathing? Sleeping? Entertaining?
On the left: the single most depressing 'toy' I've ever seen. Hang on for a few years, kid, and your big dreams can come true.
In the lower left hand corner: 'His N' Hers Tiger-Print Underwear.' Imagine if my parents had rolled downstairs wearing that in the morning. Hello, therapist's couch.
Get your guns here! All sizes, all colors!
Floor mats for your car with a stoned bear saying 'If It Feels Good, Do It!' Good advice. Good advice.
To match your black fake-fur toilet seat, a groovy black acrylic fake-fur bedspread. Don't smoke in bed, though. One spark and you've got a not-so-groovy chemical fire that will rage for days!
I don't know what I love the most about this attempt of Penneys to capture the 'Superfly' market. It may be the hat. No, the chest hair. No, the halter top on the guy in the middle. No, the horn necklace. No, the mustaches.
Finally, take a look at the top right-hand corner. Yes, J.C. Penney water pipes, which 'can be smoked by 3 persons at one time.' In the catalog copy, they don't even bother writing 'for tobacco use only.'