Lou-Vies: Lou's Favorite Made-for-Television Masterpieces

Introducing a semi-regular feature: A selection of some of Lou’s favorite guilty pleasure tv movies (known, among his friends, as ‘Lou-vies.'), acccompanied by his delightfully unfiltered commentary.

A FRIEND TO DIE FOR (a.k.a. Death of a Cheerleader).

Poor loser Kelly Martin. All she wants is to be nasty Tori Spelling’s friend. Kelly takes Tori’s rejection less than well in a really uncomfortable car scene. Grabbing her vegetarian sister’s cucumber knife from the front seat (I’m not making this up), she soon turns Tori’s lights out. You’ll be cheering her on, but of course, the poor thing eventually has to confess everything to her long-suffering mother, Rhoda (a.k.a. Valerie Harper.) PLAYBACK MOMENT: Tori really has it coming, and with your finger on the remote, you can watch justice again and again.

A KILLER AMONG FRIENDS

There’s nothing more satisfying than watching Patty Duke scream and fight for a child. Here, she struggles to find out who killed daughter Tiffani-Amber Thiessen. Turns out it was Tiff’s best friend, who moves in to help Patty track the killer! Clever, evil girl! But the whole movie is building towards the police station confrontation and the whopping face smack from Patty. What a release! PLAYBACK MOMENT: Any scene that includes police officer Loretta Swit, to try to figure out what the hell she’s done to her face.

KATE’S SECRET

Meredith Baxter stars as the perfect wife and mother who also vomits. Bulimic Kate gets sent to eating rehab where she rooms with “supermodel” Tracey Nelson and witnesses harrowing cafeteria scenes of women desperately counting calories. And while we know she’s nuts, does Meredith really need to knock all her food to the floor before ramming it into her mouth? So unsanitary. PLAYBACK MOMENT: The introduction of a quite hefty Ed Asner as head of the clinic. This porker is supposed to convince the ladies to eat?

Comments

[Sebastien Gomez]

Jancee, I've greatly enjoyed reading your posts and excerpts from your book. It is so refreshing to see someone like you, so human and funny in this cold entertainment world. Keep up the great work and I can't wait to get my hands on your book.

[Mr. Beer Belly]

Geez, the've always said that meat will kill you... vetegatbles can be deadly too! (Well, cucumber knifes can be...)

[http://www.bucon.co.uk]

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[Barry Dons]

Thanks for the great site, I am headed to blockbuster hehe.